Leave a Gap

The first time I put wooden shingles on a wall I fit them together perfectly.  There weren't any gaps at all.
Except that after the first rain, they began to show signs of strain, and buckled under the pressure.
There will be growth and change, and pressure and stress. Imperfect is perfect sometimes.  Leave some gaps.

Filling the tank

Spring, where are you?  You have to come eventually, we haven't screwed things up that bad yet, but when?  Winter has taken us through our slow down, the time to relax a bit, enjoy time with family and friends, into a long slog of having our patience tested .  Winter can be embraced and enjoyed, the landscape turned harsh and unforgiving, while at the same time filled with incredible beauty.  But as winter lingers, it wears us down, the beauty of crisp white begins to fade to dull grey, then brown as our mood fades along with it.  We see a glimpse of hope on a sunny day, but those hopes are dashed by the tenecious grip of cold.  Winter tests our resolve, are we strong enough for winter, do we have the resillience to bounce back again and again?  What keeps us going?

Spring.  It will come, and with it a renewal.  The deeper we're drawn into the reserves of our patience, the greater the renewal.  The energy drawn from that first bright warm day, noticing the first crocus of the year, feeling the sun warm your face and bare arms reverses the flow of power into our tanks.  No longer are we being drained, we're being filled, and the lower winter drains our tanks the quicker and deeper they will be filled by the coming of spring.

Without winter we have no spring.  If the tanks never gets drawn down, how can we appreciate it when it's full? Be patient, spring is coming, may your tank be full again.

For love of Pi

I was a terrible student.  Seriously, I barely graduated from high school.  I managed to get at least a 65 in all my classes to earn a regents diploma.  I failed a couple classes throughout high school that had to be repeated, one of them was trigonometry.  I was a lazy kid with no direction, plans for the future and definitely no plans for college. Half way through my senior year my good friend Keith ,whose brilliant flame threw it's last spark this past year, told me he was going to Paul Smith's College in the Adirondacks.  I had never heard of it, but as he described it I thought it sounded like a place for me too.   I checked it out, found out they had a new remedial program for lazy/dumb kids and I was on my way.

Paul Smith's College is an amazing place, if you're into that kind of thing.  At the time it sat in the middle of 23,000 acres of privately owned land, near the western edge of the Adirondack park.  There were about 800 students total on campus at that time and we all pretty much knew each other.  It's an outdoor lovers playground, and if that wasn't your thing you were probably gone by the end of the first semester.

It was primarily a technical school at the time, preparing you for a career through lots of hands on learning.  I was enrolled in the Forest Technician program, which included a range of classes from horse logging, sawmill operations, and surveying.  It covered a wide range of forestry jobs, but surveying was somehow  drawing me in.  How was this possible?  Just two years earlier I couldn't pass trig, but there I was getting A's on my surveying exams.  As my last semesters approached I started looking at the jobs available at the time.  There were plenty of sawmill jobs available, but I'd tried that the previous summer and that was hard work.  There were also a bunch of surveying jobs available, so my last semester I decided to take the finally surveying course offered in the Surveying degree program in addition to my regular forest tech program.  I did well at it and in the fall of 1984 scheduled an interview at a surveying and engineering firm in Hamden, Ct.  My friend and former roommate, Chris Schuler, had called this firm the day before and gave me the heads up, see the pattern there.  In 1985, computers were not in the main stream yet.  We solved equations on calculators.  After a year or so of working I found I was pretty good at this, that it was a pretty good job and that it I wanted to become a Professional Land Surveyor.

Here's where the love of Pi comes in.  In order to become a Licensed surveyor one of the requirements is a deep understanding of trigonometry and geometry.   Calculating coordinate geometry equations on a calculator was the key back then.  It was nothing new, at Paul Smith's we did these kinds of calculations from the first semester, but in order to pass the test you had to be able to solve far more complex problems that drew on much deeper understanding of the principals.  Somehow I found pleasure in doing the practice problems.  I loved solving the puzzle.  The thing with trig and geometry is that they're visual.  You can see the answer on paper or in your head, and I had a pretty good sense of seeing the missing piece.  In the late 80's we were designing a lot of subdivisions that include new roads, roads that were curved.  Many, many problems came along that required you to be able to work with curves.  Whats at the center of every curve equation?  That's right Pi!  I studied hard and passed the Surveyor in Training exam on the first try and about 8 years later passed the remaining exams and became a Licensed Land Surveyor.

So what's the point of it all?  Well there are a couple.  We're not all smart kids, but we probably have something that will light us up, we just have to be given the chance to look and maybe try a different path.  A technical career can be a very rewarding career. Even though I ended up as a "professional" I was well on my way to be a technician, if I hadn't gone down that path I never would have found this great career. Four years of college aren't for everyone, don't be afraid to look at technical careers.  There's great satisfaction in seeing and having others be able to see the work you've done.  I suppose there's a similar feeling filling in spread sheets, but we can reach out and touch my accomplishments. I love what I do and am so thankful for the path that revealed itself before me.

Our daughter Lynn, luckily didn't follow the same path as her parents and was a wonderful student.  She loved to learn and as a result was rewarded with a tremendous scholarship at Drexel University, where she graduated the architecture program with 4 years full time work experience and almost no student loan debt.  I like to think that my love of Pi had something to do with that.  When she was home at Thanksgiving we went skiing and rented a locker with a combination lock on it.  She picked it out and assigned the combo.  When I asked her what it was she said 3141.  I almost shed a tear.  What a great kid, we couldn't be more proud. Again I'm greatful to have such a beautiful daughter.

Lastly I thank my friend Keith Myott.  Keith passed away this past year after a lifelong battle with cystic fibrosis.  When I say battle, that's what I mean.  He did more things with such vigor than most healthy people will ever attempt, myself included.  He ran cross country in high school, even though he would be doubled over coughing for half an hour after each race.  He moved to Montana and skied the biggest peaks, he mountain biked and fished.  I can vividly see he and I standing in a pool on the west branch of the Owego creek, I've been casting for a rising trout with no luck.  Keith made one cast, drifted the fly directly over the fish and took that trout right out from under my nose.  If it wasn't for Keith Myott, I honestly don't think Id be the person I am today. He got me to college, which got me to this career, which has developed into this fantastic life.  Rest in peace my friend, long may you run.

Tiny houses are dumb

Really, they're stupid as a home. If you want a Mobil living area get a camper. If you want a small house get a small house. We went from mcmansions to this. Back in my day a tiny house was a trailer and you were white trash, now you're a hipster.

Efficient, appropriately sized houses. Do that. 

Fix it Later

My daughter has a piece of paper hanging in her kitchen. It says "fix it later". I assume it was just an ironic joke, but it turns out, it's a reminder to just get it done.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfect_is_the_enemy_of_good

It was the best of lines, it was the worst of lines.

So, to keep this pile from growing I'll get a little more out of my system.
What's the Tarbox Line?  It started with cyclocross, but really it's the definition for the way I go through life.  I'm not a leader or a follower, I'm a stumbler, a bumbler, always on the edge of having it together. I see life as a series of little adventures, sometimes as simple as riding your own line, or taking a new road to work.
So take a chance, do what makes sense to you, and try to be good at it.

Piles, these are what I make. While I wait for the perfect opportunity to do what ever it is I'm doing perfectly, things end up in piles. The clutter forms a perfect irony.

The Tarbox Line has been waiting in a pile for a couple years now while I try and figure out what to do with it. Rather than building more piles waiting for the perfect moment to arise, it's time to throw down the Tarbox Line.